Goodbye, Stranger.

This blog now has a new home:  workhorseblues.com

See you there.

August 27, 2009 at 9:47 pm 4 comments

Conversation on Omegle

Stranger: hi there
You: what’s going on?
Stranger: ohhh nothing much
Stranger: just smokin some weeeeeeeeeeeeeed
Stranger: :D
You: lame.
Stranger: how the fuck os that lame
Stranger: is*
Stranger: weeed is awsome
You: no, it’s lame.
Stranger: ok then
Stranger: i respecy ur opinion
Stranger: respect
You: of course you do. you’re smoking weed.
Stranger: uhh oh ya
Stranger: touche
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

August 25, 2009 at 11:43 pm 3 comments

No, small Asian kid, nooooooooooo!!

Why why why why WHY GOD WHY:

Most awkward minute of my life.  NSFW because of the word “tittays”.

August 21, 2009 at 10:08 pm 3 comments

dreams and things

It’s always fun when complete strangers tell you about their dreams, isn’t it?  Tops the list, you might even say.  Here’s mine from last night.

I lived in the same apartment building as I do now, yet the inside was like the house in Indianapolis that I grew up in and the location of the apartments was in Savannah, GA, complete with the lush, beautiful landscape and gothic romance that the city is famous for.  The apartments were on fire, and the fire became fast friends with the spanish moss that covered all the trees outside.  See the picture below?  Just like that, except the moss was glowing from fiery embers.  Quite beautiful, actually.

The fire was from the aliens, you know.  You couldn’t see them, but the fire signaled their arrival and they were watching everyone from this spotlight/eye in the sky.  It was like the eye from LOTR, only seriously, it was a giant flood light with a flashlight handle attached.  Finally, it caught sight of me and shown down, scanning, and it may not sound like the most terrifying thing in the world, but it kind of was.  I was paralyzed with fear.

Immediately I remembered that Wally and Molly were still in the burning apartment building, so I ran inside to get them.  I put Molly in her crate and when I was searching the place for Wally’s leash, I found another cat I didn’t even know I had.  It was the fattest creature I have ever seen.  Not even joking – at least a 100lb house cat.   Minimum.  It was so fat that it couldn’t walk and I had the roll the damn thing down the stairs to safety.

I don’t remember what happened immediately after rolling Fatty down the stairs, but we all ended up in this refuge center for the people that lost their homes due to the alien fire.  My mom was there, but I only caught a glimpse of her and she disappeared when I went running towards her, and that’s when I woke up.

August 16, 2009 at 4:22 pm 2 comments

Oh hells yes.

I just watched the trailer for The Lovely Bones and it looks great.  One of my favorite books, and I cried like a baby when I read it.   This is going to be good.

The only thing that makes me go “eh” is Mark Wahlberg.  He created Entourage, something I have to suffer through every Sunday to get to the second showing of True Blood, and he will therefore always make me say EH.  Them’s the rules.

August 13, 2009 at 12:35 pm 2 comments

Beautiful

July 21, 2009 at 11:12 am Leave a comment

A hypothetical

What do you do if the one thing in your life that makes you happy is suddenly jeopardized by something completely out of your control?  You have the option of sticking it out and hoping for the best with a very large, very real chance of having your heart crushed and spending the rest of your life trying to pick up the millions of tiny pieces it leaves behind..  or do you move on with your life, on your own terms, and try to make it day by day never really knowing what could have been?  Honestly, wtf do you do?

July 21, 2009 at 9:54 am 5 comments

Honey, I’m HOME!

I missed home.  I missed Wally and Molly, and my bed with the comfy pillows.  I missed the cloudy, dreary weather.   I missed everything about this state, this town and my boring, daily life but it was good to be away for a while.

Where do I start?  The drive to Savannah was long.  Driving through Atlanta is a nightmare and that city can kiss my ass.  My nephew handled the long trek surprisingly well.  He’s excellent up till the four hour mark but he needs a break after that.  Knowing this, I think I was stopping so we could stretch our legs every two to three hours.   We were all tired and on the brink of insanity toward the last stretch, but I swear to god, once you see the sign that says “Savannah” the city pretty much slaps you in the face with beauty.  We were driving for hours and then BAM!  All of a sudden it went from ordinary to the most beautiful place I have ever seen.  There is something about palm trees coupled with oak trees and spanish moss that kind of takes the breath away.  I’m sure the people in the south who see this every day would think I’m crazy, but it was gorgeous.

I think I pretty much shot myself in the foot where Savannah was concerned before I even arrived.  I was so excited and wanted to do so much that I had really high expectations.  What I didn’t count on was the drive being that tiring, and us all being grumpy at the end.  I wanted to walk around and take the city in, but after walking a block in the hot Georgia sun after driving for 10 hours, I quickly saw that the plan was going to be much different.  We were losing light and patience so we all got in the car, AGAIN, just to drive around the city so we could see more.  Unfortunately, Savannah driving is kind of confusing if you haven’t been there, so we got lost and since it seemed like no one else was satisfied with aimless driving, my sister picked a destination.  Tybee Island.

It sucked.  My thinking was – we’re going to be in Florida after this for a few days doing nothing but beachy things, so why are we wasting precious Savannah time looking for the damn beach?  I wasn’t a happy camper but I sucked it up because it wasn’t all about me and I did what the group wanted.    After that we had time for a quick dinner and then we gave up for the night and returned to the hotel which was nice and comfy.  I crashed.

The next morning we slept in and then went out to Bonaventure Cemetery.  Unfortunately, the only pictures I managed to take of Savannah were here because I spent the rest of the time being grouchy and driving.  It was hot and muggy so we didn’t stay long, but even the cemetery was gorgeous.  I swear, it’s those damn trees.  They make everything look magical and painted in a ghostly but charming way.

That’s it for Savannah.  When we left the cemetery we said goodbye to the city and drove six hours to our destination in Florida.  I won’t talk about the drive there, but basically there was a lot of family and beach time when we arrived.  I was enjoying myself in the ocean for a while and I don’t have one single decent picture of the ocean without a family member in it because of the vacation mode I was in and my fear of getting water/sand in crevices, but I do have zoo pictures.  Let’s go there.

West Palm Beach zoo was fun!

This “lizardy thing”, as I like to call it, is everywhere in Florida.  This one was at the zoo, but while I was visiting my Dad I saw about 7 or 8 of them in his backyard, mostly sunning on the fence.

My favorite animal at the zoo was the West African Crowned Crane.  Weirdly beautiful creature and uhm, quite taken with me if I might say so.  If I walked two feet, it walked two feet.  And it stared.  Honestly, I don’t know if it wanted to eat me or date me.  I did leave my number, though.  We’ll see.

More about the trip and the drive home later, but I’m tired.  I’m going to relax now.

July 17, 2009 at 6:44 pm 2 comments

Wind beneath my wings

Do you realize that I am 29 years old, and this upcoming trip is my first adult vacation where I actually GO somewhere?  It’s wildly exciting and I am excited.  I was six years old the  last time I went somewhere on vacation, also to Florida, but there’s nothing enjoyable about being six, sunburned, and in a hotel for two days because there’s a blister that stretched from one shoulder to the other on my back.   This was in the 80’s, back before the time of sunscreen, apparently.  This time the Florida sun will be kind to me.  SPF 50 guarantees it.

As for the hotel I mentioned a few posts back, that isn’t happening anymore.  The Guy insisted that I stay somewhere else and he booked two rooms at the Inn at Ellis Square for my sister and I, and it most certainly is an upgrade.   Besides the obvious lack of health concerns, the best part of this hotel is the location.  It’s right by everything I want to see, but now I wish I had more time in Savannah.    He also bought me a Savannah guidebook as a gift, and the more I read it the longer I want to stay.  I’m in love with a city I’ve never been to.  Don’t disappoint me, Savannah.  This heart of mine is fragile.

It also seems as though I’m a little anal in the planning department.  I’m one of those people now, but what can I say?  There’s a lot of satisfaction in making a list and crossing things off.  Mostly the lists are things I need to do before the trip, what to buy, what to pack, directions and backup routes, emergency numbers, reservation and confirmation numbers, etc.  Don’t get me wrong – there isn’t an itinerary of any kind.  Once we reach our destinations we’ll play it fast & loose, I think.   The Savannah Plan is to walk around and walk around some more, and maybe drive out to Bonaventure Cemetery.  That kind of thing.  Florida’s plan is beach, family time, snorkeling, zoo and some kind of safari adventure that my Dad insists we do.

There will be lots of picture taking too, I assure you.  Buying another memory card is on the list.  I’ll cross it off tomorrow.

By the way, I know the lists are kind of unnecessary but I do it because it keeps me focused on being happy and excited.  The sister and nephew don’t seem excited at all and have barely mentioned it.   In fact, the only time my sister seemed excited was last night after some drinks, but she was drunk and excited about everything so it doesn’t really count.   I put on my best Aren’t You Excited?! face to my nephew and all he says is “yeah” before walking away.  That’s it, people?  That’s all the excitement you got?  Well, you’re not bringing me down.  I’ll make lists and be excited with my notepad & pen, all by myself.

July 8, 2009 at 12:28 pm 3 comments

The weather forecast for my stay in Sunny Florida

July 6, 2009 at 10:33 am 15 comments

I’ll probably come back with Syphillus

My Dad is a penny pincher.  He has also insisted on paying for the hotel in Savannah, Georgia, and knowing my dad, I knew this hotel wouldn’t be anything grand.  Still, I don’t need fancy hotels – just a clean bed to sleep in for a night.  When he offered and gave me information about the place I thought, hey, what a nice thing to do!   I came across the reviews for this particular hotel while searching for the address, and out of 13 reviews, 11 people deemed it “terrible”, and multiple people have commented that the health department should get involved.  Here are the jewels:

“This place should be condemned.”

“Yuck!  Dirty!  Stay away!”

“Worst hotel I ever stayed at!!!! I am contacting the Georgia Board of Health!”

“…worst experience we’ve had in traveling in the past 20 years.”

“Dirtiest hotel I’ve ever seen.  Scary!”

“I had to line the bathroom floors with towels so my children could walk.”

Thanks, Dad!  I hope this room comes with complimentary penicillin.

July 2, 2009 at 10:08 pm 2 comments

Road trip

I’m taking a little vacation down to Florida in 11 days.  My sister and oldest nephew are coming with me and we’re driving the whole way there.  Well, I am.  The nephew is still a kid and the sister is an inexperienced driver, so I’ll be manning the wheel for 17 hours.  The plan is to leave on the 12th at about 3am, and drive for 10 hours down to Savannah, Georgia and stay the night in a hotel after walking around indulging in a little southern hospitality.  The following day, driving another 7 hours down to Florida to see my Dad.   I’m very excited about this trip.

The obvious problem:  how do you keep an autistic kid entertained in a car for 10 hours on one day, and 7 hours the next?  I suspect someone will have Grumpypants Syndrome.   That, or he’ll be super hyper from all the exictement of new places and the promise of seeing his Grandpa, and Hyperpants is about as bad as Grumpypants.  Part of the appeal of leaving at 3am is knowing he’ll sleep in the car part of the way on the first day, and the other part of the appeal means we’ll get to Savannah early enough to do a little sightseeing.   After being in a car for 10 hours, I’m betting we’ll all be very happy to put on our walking shoes.

The other problem:  what are good places to see in Savannah?  Budget is tight, so we’re going with the free touristy stuff like walking around and taking in the beauty of the town, but where is the most beautiful?   We’re only there for one day and I want to make the most of it.  I was thinking of Forsyth Park and just walking around to see the old houses and mansions, but which streets should I focus on and which streets should I steer clear of?   I don’t want to waste time, you know?

The Florida portion of the trip is pretty easy – we’re seeing my Dad and hitting the beach.   Let’s hope this is different from the last time I was in Florida when I spent three days in a hotel, unable to move from all the blisters on my sunburned skin.

July 1, 2009 at 8:29 am 5 comments

Where I worry about my cat, like the crazy cat lady that I am

Remember when Smokey’s eye was infected?  It’s still a little watery and not quite right thanks to the roommates being idiots and not giving their cat the medicine she needs.  Grrr.  Don’t get me started on this.

Because I live with an idiot, my cat is now sick with an infected eye as well.  My Molly!  It worries me and absolutely breaks my heart to see her in discomfort.   I’m very  attached to her, so she’s the cat I worry most about.  I know it’s a terrible thing to have favorites, but I feel like the other cats can adapt to situations better than Molly can.  With her, she doesn’t like anyone else.  The major complaint other people have about her is that she’s “mean” and “unaffectionate”, but she’s exactly the opposite.  She’s extremely shy and even though she’ll tolerate other people, she prefers to spend 90% of her day in my bedroom or following me around the apartment.   I have to shoo her out of the bathroom when I take a shower or else she’d happily sit beside the tub and wait for me if I let her.  My lap is the only lap she has ever curled up on.   Seeing her in pain just kills me.  I can’t stand it.

She has a vet appointment on Wednesday, but in the meantime she’s hiding out in my bedroom and I’m worrying, but maybe I can sleep now that I vented a little bit.

July 1, 2009 at 1:43 am 5 comments

Strange ducklings

If Smokey the One Eyed Kitten wants to nurse from the teat of Wallace, my male dog, then who am I to judge?

You’re a good little momma, Wally.

June 27, 2009 at 12:23 pm 7 comments

What I’ve been up to

Working.  A lot.  And worrying about money.  The two go hand in hand.

I’m free for the next two days with no obligations and I plan on enjoying every damn second of it.  Tonight I went to buy some healthy snacks and walked out of the store $130 poorer.  How does salads, veggies, fruits, a single curtain and a Boston Creme Pie add up to that?  I still can’t figure it out.  Oh well.  The fridge is stocked with baby carrots, grapefruit, lemons, grapes, cucumbers, etc.  I know the Boston Creme Pie isn’t exactly a healthy snack, but I’m no saint.  Ok, ok.  And a bag of Dorito’s that’s flavored like tacos.  Sue me.

My sister thought it would be a good idea to bring a tiny kitten home last week.   I came home from work and this kitten was just sitting there, being cute like kittens are, and then I noticed that one of it’s little eyes was sealed shut with dried puss and oozing.   I mentioned this to my wonderful sister who replied, “Oh, I didn’t notice.”  How do you NOT notice?   So, I spent $90 taking the poor thing to the vet.   She sneezed the whole way there but she gets to keep her yucky eye.  Her name is Smokey, but I don’t call her that.  I call her Bandit because she has the one good eye, and we have cuddle parties.   She likes to climb up on my shoulder, curl up under my hair and purr against my ear.  It tickles.  I’ll take pictures of her soonish.

June 10, 2009 at 11:34 pm 4 comments

This happens a lot

Last night I had a dream about strawberries.  It was the only bit of any dream from last night that I remember, but there was a woven basket of big, beautiful, red, ripe strawberries and I wanted to buy them but they were too expensive.  Earlier today I walked outside to the mailbox to get my mail and I noticed smashed strawberries all over the sidewalk.   I know it’s a coincidence that the only thing I remember from my dream was covering the sidewalk outside of the apartment, but this happens a lot, and you know what?  It bugs me.  It makes me think there’s more to those strawberries than I realize.

May 28, 2009 at 11:20 pm 4 comments

I look worse than I am

Not even an hour after I published the previous post to this blog I started vomiting and passing out.   As you know, I’d rather puke every day for the rest of my life than blackout because I hate it that much, but it seems like my body doesn’t take my preferences into consideration.   How rude!

The EKG was fine and my heart is healthy so it was most likely a bug of some kind.   If you thought the description from last time was bad then you should see the bruise on my arm where the IV blew my vein.   It looks like my arm is turning into a gigantic blueberry like that girl from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory.   And I made chicken curry & rice for dinner and boy, oh boy, that’s some delicious shit.

Yeah, I think that covers it.

Oh!  And I’ll probably turn into a leper soon after pressing “publish”, but that’s ok.  I like living dangerously.

May 22, 2009 at 5:39 pm 8 comments

I work hard for the money. So hard for it, honey.

There is a blister on my pinky toe that is roughly the size of my pinky toe.  So basically my pinky toe is double in size and I feel like one of those cartoon character with a throbbing, dramatic injury.  Also, it’s infected.  Ouch!

There is another blister on the sole of the same foot, under the big toe.  Hurts, but not infected.  On the other foot, other pinky toe, there is another blister.  Small, non-infected and the lesser of the foot evils.  And a blister on the underside of my index finger near the bend.   And a huge bruise on my knee.

See?   I would blog more, but I’m so delicate my fingertips would bleed.

May 19, 2009 at 12:29 pm 6 comments

Not feeling at home, sweet home.

I moved.  Question to no one in particular:  how long after moving does it take you to feel at home and not a guest in a strange place?

There are some serious lighting issues in this apartment.  In my bedroom there are no lights at all, but curiously, there IS a light switch.  I thought that when I moved in and plugged a lamp in to one of the sockets that the light switch would be useful for turning on the lamp, but that turned out to be false.  The light switch is there to look pretty and remind me of a time (a better time) when a light switch served a purpose and a home felt like a home.

Maybe things will feel better once Molly and Wally come over later today.  There was an issue with the pet deposit – it cost $200 for the option to have a pet, but I guess I was confused because I thought $200 and I could have both pets.  Turns out, it’s $200 PER pet.  After the move, I am so broke my wallet makes screeching noises when I open it, so Wally can thank The Guy for being my hero and coming to my rescue on this one.   He’s like a knight in shining armour on a white horse with a $200 check.  Not sure how my ass got this lucky, but I’ll take it.

Saving the best for last.. I’ve never been the kind of person who feels comfortable enough to poop anywhere.  Never did it at work, or in public restrooms, friend’s places, etc.  As you can imagine, it’s not happening here either.   Not feeling at home is making me constipated.   Bodies!  Fun stuff.

May 1, 2009 at 9:35 am 13 comments

Derby Festival is serious business.

Last weekend I went to Kentucky as they kicked off the beginning of Derby Festival.  There was an air show, fireworks, lots of AC/DC, Top Gun soundtrack and drunk, shirtless people all on the river bank.  It was a fun time.  I took 476 pictures that day and I still have to go through all of them, but here are some that I’ve uploaded already.


April 23, 2009 at 9:26 am 7 comments

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About

Stranger obviously isn't my real name, but it's close enough. I'm a woman in my late twenties, live in the midwest, and I blog a lot about nothing, although not often. You're welcome.

Questions, love letters, and hate mail can be sent to: typewords at gmail.com, and I can be found on Twitter.

Finally, my only rule for commenting is: play nice and don't be a jerkface.

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